Little things

This has got to be the worst post ever. I don't have even the utmost care who would read this but I feel so bad right now. Bad that I can't get an interview, bad that I am missing my deadline, bad that I can't get my allowance, bad that I am still waiting for my underwear to dry. Bad.

Everything this week seemed like it was going to fall over me or trample me or squish me (which I aways picture ending in a gruesome manner). And now that Tatay is angry at me, I really don't know what to do.

My phone was dead about eight am and I was still asleep, I charged it yesterday but my phone is always like this, dead and gone. Tatay was supposed to call me but with my phone dead, he can't reach me. When I went to sleep it was reflecting it's LCD with full batteries. How am I supposed to know it'll be dead in a few hours? Too bad there's no defibrilator for batteries that I just can chuck out of my pocket.

Okay, I fear adulthood for that matter. I fear that i'll pick on some petty thing to release my anger. I fear that i'll call someone stupid intentionally. I fear that i'll make someone feel that he made the biggest mistake any human being can do without even trying.

The lazy blog awards

This is the official page of the lazy blog awards- an award giving body recognizing the people who make blog then leave it empty for almost a century.

If that page existed, I would have been on its hall of fame.

So what has been occupying my hands and eyes lately?

1. Creative Pursuits. I was privileged to undergo training on videography and video editing under the world-renowned Mayad Studios. It was a two-day seminar filled with new experiences (and new friends!) and a blender-full of ideas and concepts. Quoting Adelle: "Brain-freeze!"

2. Publication works. Preparations for the incoming Academic Year were done (in a matter of milliseconds). I was christened to be this years' Editor in Chief and I am currently peeing in my pants by the thought of it.

3. Family. Who isn't busy with their own meager lives? I spent some quality time with my family this summer and I am very happy to say that I am nearing my goal of making friends with my parents.

In, generalization and borrowing the line in the movie "The Shining": Here's Johnny! (I'm back!)

Expect more updates (less lazy blog awards). This is SURE.

Doing nothing

Believe it or not, I do poetry when I am bored.


Pug paws', moose on...


It started as drip drafts
Emptying the fool of the heavens
We

were drying up existence of man as we
No it.

Topping the twisted turbine tunnel of the tiny trickle
Fine, turn it left
I was there

to see the reader who read Ruffa Mae upside down

A pulse were not picked up from here
It was not in order. It was firm

Friendly foils too

It was just.right
torrid was the way man met the tears of the gods

It was not wedlock.
We presume.

Perpetual mesh
couldn't possibly smother the two into one.

Siphons, vials, tubes, tongue depressors

You just won't do either

Time is essential to everything.

I tore happiness
I wasted a tear for you. It
wasn't enough

You made a movie about it.

Melting pot of everything, that's what you are
eternal bless while scratching my
back forehead

I flushed when you looked back at me
It was good, you said.

The river was never a river,
it was Devils' Kettle-where no one knows
where it goes


rhyme time

But we had faith in each other.
Someday we'll end up

in a burger shop together.

But everything was in harmony
and we don't care at all. Noe.Ninny


Yeah, you said.
Ooh, I said.

I left the room with butterflies and a happy conviction.
No sud disposition.


12:34 am
the 17th of February

Of Farming

In this modern times, even six year-old children can farm. They can collect eggs from the chickens, they can harvest crops and they can plant new crops in just a simple click of a device called a mouse. Of course I am talking about the sensational applications that has gripped the online community of Facebook™ (which was sparsely populated a few years back).

Farming has always been part of the Filipino culture. Our ancestors were very eager and happy farmers who lived off their lives farming their own land. They were a happy bunch of mountain people. Going a few years in the future (give or take twenty generations or two) we see the hope of the youth in re-establishing and awakening the agricultural prowess that has once characterized our nation.

Imagine if those children and teenagers who are point and clicking their mouses real farmers. Come to think of it, we'll have 600,000 farmers now all working (some even on night shifts). With the government limiting agricultural budget and the country's depressing state of importation, why wouldn't we give our attention to the problem?

The proposed budget of the government for this year has increased about one eight in percentage and the allocation for agriculture is 27 billion. Only half of the budget for defense. Last year, the budget for agriculture was slashed of its rightful 1.1 billion. Where did it go I don't know.

For now the country's hope for a sustaining economy anchored on agriculture and rice sufficiency is bleak. Not unless the people at my left, right and back in this cafe start thinking of farms, farmers and planting. The real ones. /KP

Why (I Hate) Teleseryes?

I have endured sixteen years of watching soap operas, okay, teleseryes. Nanay has always been a fanatic, my older sister too,my dad got infected also but not me. It may sound as if I am referringto the watching of soap opera as a viral contagion but it is indeed one. A nasty bout of flu.

The world of Philippines' soap opera is a tragic one. We have seen the best and the worst in them. The best actresses inmovies have gone astray in these kilowatt-killing shows. And yes these shows add up to the ratings but what are we getting here?

Some (probably most) Filipinos are so emotion-savy that they cling to these shows. I am sure there are bitter fights because of the remote control at home and there are lots of money reeled in by the TV networks.

So I have a proposition. What if there are not 'teleseryes' in the Philippines?

I mean is the style of cinematography (is that what it's called) applied to it. What if it's different?

What if there were now rich and poor? Say like 90210. What if it's all about the same profession? Say Srcubs. Or Psych. Or CSI.

That's why nanay has a hard time convincing me to watch the one teleserye about a saintly child. First of all, I think it's too much sugar coating. Second, I think the people at that town are a bunch of idiots and people falloff their seats beacuse the townsfolk are looking and acting like idiots.

Please, can the world get more ironic? I mean if I continue watching that, I would look like a total emotional dunderhead just like those people in that town. I hate soppy things. And soppy soap operas poorly done are one of them.

Better leave me with soppy movies, that I can contemplate on. It's all about channeling, I hope the 'mad skillz' of young directors won't be wasted on the same-plot-for-fifty-years teleseryes. /KP

Stomach

Okay I admit that my brain sometimes does not work as it should be. I get this blank air moments that no ideas seems to flow through this heavy poundage. I admit that I am unusually lazy as to normal people should be and I totally admit the fact that I am an eatinf frek.

Sorry, I mean eating freak.

I eat a lot. That is an undeniable fact. And for some who may scoff at that statements, may I kindly refer you to my friends who would truly attest to the truth that I, unfortunately, eat. Eat more than you that is. And yes, a 54-kg skinny body can hold four cups of rice, two types of viand and a 12-oz. bottle of soda in one meal (excluding here are what we Filipinos call 'pica-pica' snacks which I also enjoy to the fullest). That is why I enjoy eating at establishments offering unlimited rice. I am a Filipino and I think I couldn't survive a meal without my precious grains.

And this is where my problem start; with eating. See I live in the student budget which means I have to fit an entire week of food consumption, photocopies, alamutans with my one thousand peso allowance. And almost 7/8 of these goes to food. Sadly, I have no money left for other things when the snakes in my stomach start to do somersaults. It's hard enough to live alone in the city but starve? No freaking way.

So this is my revolution to my eating problem. Stop being lazy, do work. Everyday and try to forget eating once in a while. Though it is my parents dream to see me all plumped up, I may have to prolong their wishes a bit longer. Right now, I need to live within my means. After this, i'll be eating at McDonalds.

Errors

We just finished publishing our tabloid for this year (finally!). And as any tabloid, any project that involves numerous texts, any idea or executed thought; we had flaws. A little typo on this page, some grammars don't on this. Some major and some passable.

And of course our own critics are ourselves. What figures.

We have that student sickness that every after exam, we check our notes if our answers were right or not. We sigh at our mistakes and jeer that we had made the risk and pulled it of great. We want to get those tabloids and just start all over again. Too many mistakes on these and that. I think we need correction markers and a lot of them.

For me committing mistakes like these are just part of our learning process. This does not mean however that we should use this as an excuse in doing what is less of our capacity. As former (and hopefully future) Graciano Lopez-Jaena Awardees for Best Departmental Publication, we should give out our best, bring our best foot (if there is any) forward and bring down the house with the best that we can do. This incapacity to sometimes not see eroors should be used to the fullest extent in making and producing quality materials that the clientele is asking for.

However, it is true that we sometimes just say things and not mean it at all. I hope that we could 'execute' the next ones properly. No, we SHOULD execute it properly.

Lesson learned. Pramis, next time it will be sweeter. Mamatay man si Batman.

this is losing

This post is in Filipino. Bob Ong slash Atalia-Reyes Mode.

Gusto ko talagang sumali sa mga patimpalak. Ewan ko ba kung sakit ito o makating buni na di matanggal-tanggal pero nasisiyahan talaga ako kung sumasali. Para mamamanhid ka sa thrill na hindi naman sumasakay sa roller coaster. Mapa essay writing, photo contest o tic-tac-toe, talagang kakagat ako dyan.

Baka siguro kasi competitive kami sa bahay. Unahan sa pagkain (kaya kung huli kang magising, matuto kang tumiis ng pandesal), sa remote (bahala kakung cartoons trip ng tatay mo) at sa banyo (pigilan mo, pasensya ka). O kaya sa skul kung saan maninigas ka muna bago ka makaranko nang ika tatlo.

Siguro innate na nga sa akin to dahil sa environment na kinalakihan ko. Palaban sa labanan kahit na-iihi na. Kaya nga nang sumali ako sa dagliang talumpati kanina (extemporaneous speaking) e medyo nasayahan ako. Una, kasi magaling ang kalaban. Pangalawa, kasi may ranko ako-ako ang ikalawang lugal. Nasayahan ako kasi hindi ko ito inaasahan. Parang natatawa pa kasi yung mga hurado sakin kanina. At yung tanong sakin, parang pang-beauty pageant sabi ng kaklase ko.

Yan talaga ang sinasabi nila na kung minsan, di mo hinihingi, kusang pumupunta sa'yo (pa-feel lang to). O kung minsan kahit na nandyan na, mawawala pa (pa-feel din ito).

Hanggang sa susunod na taon.

Convincing

I am a bad salesman. I hate selling things and I am terrible at sales talk. That's why I am thankful I live in the Philippines where their scouts are not being made as fund-raising monkeys. Imagine the ten year old me selling cookies door to door at our town. I am sure that my team mates wouldn't sell their cookies. They'd be throwing them at me because I scared the customers away of some cholesterol-risk story.

I am sometimes the midpoint of failure in our group. I'd be the worst team mate because if I knew the right answers, I would just keep it. If I was too cocky, I'd pester everyone to make my answer the answer and end up not gaining any points. Luck is my polar opposite.

That's why I am having a hard time telling myself to move the f*cking forward after I lost my laptop. I sound so childish and blatantly schizophrenic as I have already made three posts about it yet my mind is not functioning nor producing any ideas to write about except this. So I am stumped with this 'til I get over the hang-over.

Is there any medicine for this? It should taste better than the ones for anti-fillariasis. Them taste like airline food. Much worse than airline food. I got a packet one from my sister because the local RHU gives them away. Hey, it's free so I got one. Better prevented than already having something that shouldn't be big ginormous.

I am now settled that the only thing to make me move on is m self. Not that crazy woman in the street, not the lazy traffic enforcer but my own self. This is going to be hard.

Remembering Wall-e

I love the movie Wall-e. Even though I am seventeen years of age and a second year college student, I will never grow tired of the movie.


I've seen it for the nth time if physics may apply. Yet there is something about this movie that makes it one of the curios in my shelf. It's about the future. My future.

Wall-e lived in a world that is our prospected future. My world that is in the future perspective. A world that I would never be able to live on. And there's this spaceship that everyone on board does not know what is the sea and what exercise is.

I wouldn't stand that world. And I hope my grandsons don't live on it. But as I type this entry in a cafe with all the newly christened facebook addicts around me, I belive that this may happen to us. Them. So be afraid. Be very afraid. *cue evil laugh.

The nightmare

What is the feeling of being a dama de noche or the flower of the night? One fully blooms to splendor at dusk and wilt all its glory along with the rising sun everyday. You are born into this world and die at the same in just a few hours time.

I die every eight in the evening. Everyday.

This is the time when I lost my laptop and since its loss, I am having these stupid flashback moments everyday. Every night. The moment I see my parents, the moment I have a blank state of mind, I remember how stupid I was that night.

It haunts me.

I want to move on but these simple things act as time machines that transports me back in time. I can’t cry, there are no tears yet I feel devastated. Ashamed. I can’t help but whimper.

I know it’s unmanly and unethical to live in the past for a man must live in his future but sometimes the past just sticks to you like elmer’s glue. Unnerving. I want to forget. Really forget everything that happened. But something pulls me back.

Help me.

A very unusual day

Yes the weather was normal. It was always sunny in our town. My mother and sister and the rest of the household also acts normal. But that day was a different day for that day, I registered myself as an official voter.

The moment I stepped of the grubby tricycle, I knew this was going to be hell. Armed with my trusty ballpoint pen, a photocopy of my birth certificate and a valid identification card, I decided to take the plunge. Corny.

The line was so long. First, I need to verify who I am. I gave the copy of my birth certificate to an officer in charge of it. Then I had to wait my name to be called to get a copy of the form. It took me about twenty minutes to get hold of the No carbon form and another twenty to let an officer in charge to fill it up for me. First time voter daw ako and I don't know how to do it properly. Ansakit naman magsalita ng bakla.

Yes, the OIC was a cross dressing guy.

So he, she, whatever, was the one filling up the first page of the form. He was asking questions to me, the things that you are most likely to see on my birth certificate. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na uy, tingnan mo na lang sa birth certificate pwede. I look like a goof here.

So after he accomplished my form with writing similar to those interpreted by pharmacists, I was the one to fill up the rest. Painstaking fill up the rest of it. And after complying, I submitted it to him. He said I should return after the noon break for it's already twelve noon. And just in time as I went back that afternoon, I was called to get in the office for the biometrics.

Biometrics my butt, it was more of a gag show when i was inside. First you get to pass the form to the one encoding the data. You get criticized for what name you have and how slow you respond to questions posed. To get the fingerprint one has to scan it with a laser scanner. Sabi ko anung unang finger tinuro nya lang yung monitor. Both my thumb and index were scanned two times. Feel ko pag nakalabas yung laser, sunog na yung daliri ko at mukha.

Now to the most fun part. Picture taking.

Hell it was no fun. I have very sensitive eyes and the only reason I don't wear a pair of glasses is because my parents can't afford one. I was told to look at a camera two feet away from me. I presumed this was a seroius moment so I made my serious look. Then poof. Meron pa lang flash ang lokong camera. Nag blink ako tuloy kasi sobrang lapit.

Take two. Poof. Parang lasenggo mukha ko. I have uneven eyes daw. A, medyo alam ko na yan at matagal na.

Take three. Pareho parin. Parang walang difference daw? Ano ba yung problema sa ata ko ask ni ate.

Take four, ganun parin. I look drunk. Sabi nya, at parang napipikon na, Ayusin mo nga. As if i don't want to have a single sane pic.

Take five. Kumipo yung dalawa kung mata. She asks if this is my idea of a joke, sabi ko hindi. May flash kasi, sana kinuha yung flash dahil malapit masyado for the use of a flash. Tumawa lang sya. And the other guy inside the office also did.

Take six. The photo still looks like those after party photos. Sabi nya tama na daw yun. Okay. To end my humiliation.

The woman detached the slip for me and did not say anything. I asked if this was the last step and she just nooded. Sheesh.

In general, registering yourself is easy yet the pople involved in the process are not. Two days to go so strat running folks. Start running to the nearest COMELEC office and be involved.

Say goodbye f-ster, hello f-book

It's a euphoria everywhere.

No it's just another blimp in the every trendy lifestyle of the Pinoy and it's what the Americans invented called Facebook. Yes ladies and gentlemen it has been around and no it is not the sister network of the ever-Pinoy-popular Friendster (although their separation is only three degrees).

According to thedigitalfilipino.com, Philippines-based users yields around 611,000 to 612,000 logon everyday since March 1. Majority of that are women at 353,000. Majority of that are in the age group - 18 to 34 years old (around 260,000). Dominant are college students or yuppies at 18-24 years old (around 150,000++). The same age group dominates on the male segment as well. The growth of Facebook users in the Philippines is still low in comparison to Friendster which has an estimated 13 million active users. Although it is growing noting that there were 489,420 users as of February 4 from 353,740 last November 27, 2008.

It's like planting a new crop for the next season. Like changing underwear in a society who just awakened to the constraints of having one undergarment.

And people here in this country think they are the first? Please. You're just second hand users.

Then there is this problem rising. That there are too many nonsense bugs now infiltrating Facebook. Don't they know that when Pinoys know something and think it's hip, they will clog the system with all crap?

Remember Friendster six years ago? Look at it now. It's a Filipino dump. Hala sige kahit walang pera basta maparami ang friends.

Now, it's still the same routine with Facebook. With the addition of petty addicting cute games that are designed for 5th graders.

But honestly, I prefer Facebook. Hey, I'm still Pinoy. I still have the "i-need-to-have-it-'coz-everyone-is-having-it". Besides. I always like to give comments-unsolicited or not./KP

Nobelized

President-elect Barrack Obama of the United States of America is now a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Isn't that a surprise.

I was expecting that he'd be one the moment he stepped inside the Oval Office. Though only more than ten months in office, the president of the US has already done something ridiculously absurd yet clear. He showed change in a monotonous society.

Obama was a start and embodiment of change, not just for America but for everyone in the globe who has heard the news over cable television.

Maybe Noynoy will be one too. A start and embodiment of change for our porn and facebook (last year it was friendster)-addict country.

On being slapped

I hate pinoy drama. The reason is that most of them, no, all of them, include happy slapping scenes between two opposing fronts.

Yesterday was a peculiar day. Very peculiar. I was slapped in the face-metaphorically. Binastos.

So what happened?

Our chairperson (Joy), was handing out the Clearance Forms for this semester since it's almost finals. Then she explained that the clearances are to be signed and individually processed. Everyone looked at her. Then one brave soul asked, "Ngaman indi tingob? (Why not process it as a whole section?". Joy looked at me and waited for an answer.

Earlier I was the temporary chairperson for the second semester and I had a hard time processing the clearances since some did not pay their sanctions or have atrasos pa with the people who are in the signatories. And I said to her in one instance after the elections and she was elected, "Mag clearance sila ipa-process mo, para kabalo man sila kag di mag salig (When the clearances comes, let them process their own papers so that they will know how to and not just depend on you". I sis not know she would heed unsolicited very outspoken advice.

So I answered the one who asked in a plain metaphorical proverbial phrase- "Because it tends to breed Lazy Juans". A quote I culled from our guidelines at the publication. They just looked at me in disbelief. The few lines of the person who asked were a blurb in my head now and I can't remember it. Some of my classmates verbally complained. Blurry images. Blurry. All I can remember are their eyes.

Their eyes who look like they are going to roll like Clara's in Mara Clara. Sinister, tired, and very piercing. Like they are so tired of you yapping and telling things at their faces.

So to tell them why this solo flight operations are imposed, I want to speak again. However someone is speaking in front. I called the speaker's attention and the speaker ignores me. I called for the 3rd time I think the phrase "Excuse me." and everyone was looking at me waiting for me to speak or something. But the speaker who was calling out sanctions totally ignored me. Instead, the speaker elevates it's voice level almost half shouting just to drown my call to floor. It's not my habit not to speak if I am not acknowledged. So I waited. Then my chair tried to butt in but the speaker said, "Excuse me, I am not done." So our chairperson ebbed back and the speaker continues talking and when the list is done. The speaker gives me this quick but piercing look as if saying, "Sorry ka, I won't give you a chance to speak."

I was totally flushed. I wanted to regain composure but my classmates were already walking out the room even though the chairperson is talking. So I wasn't composed and I walked out of the room after the chairperson has spoken and not talking to anyone in particular, I said verbally- "Fine. You don't have ethics, okay. Bulls***."


Then I hear someone in the back say, "Go to hell." I don't need to look back, I know the voice and that statement very well. I hear that almost everyday for the past sixteen months.

Sorry for the cusswords but it's what I said in a fit. I was infuriated. I was slapped in the face for doing some simple explanation and clarification.

Then I analyzed, what happened. Why was I angry?

I was angry because I was unable to say something. I was angry because I was a wreck in front of my classmates. For me at that moment, my classmate just showed how an inappropriate individual acts like. I was trying to call his attention deliberately. Deliberately that everyone turned heads towards me. He could hear it, I know he could. Even our pretending-deaf classmate heard me that time. But he chose not to listen for my plea of the floor. He chose to ignore me.

Then again I asked, why was he angry with me?

Then it came back to the decision that we would process our clearances individually. Maybe they were against it. No, they were definitely against it. If we analyze the chairperson's decision, it was insanely sound. Very sound. I just wondered why they reacted that way. Was it the term "Lazy juans"?

When you look back in our section's history, and even our colleges', were are the sloths of all. We like to be spoon fed, we love to have it our way and we simply love to earn without working hard for it. We love to have a 1.0 grade for a professor who does not attend classes. Why? It's a no-sweat chance! We don't like to drop bullets of sweat and anyone who denies this fact is either a very industrious active student or either crazy.

But most of the people will say you are crazy if you don't see it this way.

I wonder if they saw the opposite side of the story and not only their side.

Their side: I won't have my vacation, huhu. I can't go home and relax.

Our side: So that they will have sense of work and sense of doing. So that they will learn how to process things. AND there is equality not slavery.

But they say, that is the job of the chairperson. Is there a written code that the chairperson has to process your clearance? The way I understand it, we INDIVIDUALLY need to be cleared of OUR INDIVIDUAL debts so that we INDIVIDUALLY enroll ourselves next semester. Does that mean that the chairperson will also enroll everyone else at the same time?

At hello, tao at estudyante rin po yung chairperson. Kailangan rin nang bakasyon. JUST LIKE YOU. Tapos sasabihin nyo lang LEARN TO SACRIFICE at ni kayo hindi maka balik nang school for just a 3-day span to SIGN YOUR OWN CLEARANCE FORM?

Open up your minds to more responsibilities. DO not chuck it all out to one person. Pag nagaganahan yung tao, babarahan nyo nang sandamakmak na gawain. Makatarungan ba yon?

Leaders are servants yes but not SLAVES.

To back up at the butt-talking incident, I said Excuse me. In any court and in any Parliamentary Procedure executed, you should acknowledge me. Even though you were in the middle of something. And if someone is talking in front, and if they are your leaders, respect them and don't walk out of the room until they are done talking even if they talk nonsense sometimes.

Ethics. Professionalism. Not sappy attitudes of ten-year-olds.

I then accounted some comments on the individual processing of clearances. Most of them stated self-implied and semi-selfish reasons, "Sem break mo, mapuli ko ya, malayo balay ko mo." (It's the semester break, I need to go home, my house is very far." This and that. Illogical. Very illogical.

I don't know about you but I think this way. I am entitled to the freedom of speech and free press in this blog. If you react violently, it simply means you are guilty of being the other party. As a Filipino proverb would say (plus some redefining by Fanny Serrano), "Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan, GUILTY!"

Why I won't enter public office

I'll only have one reason and that is because the benefits are cheap, uneven and the agency who holds it is the number two most corrupt agency in the government.

GSIS is the queen of corruption (BOC is the king).

When I saw the news about the Ondoy victims who needed a loan and could not be granted, I was furious. I remember the time when Nanay was denied of one because she has still a loan she needs to pay up. The thing is, the loan is a ghost loan. Nanay did not want to loan for a house.

So why is the GSIS expelling and not entertaining loan people?

I have my theories:

1. They don't have enough COH (cash on hand).
2. The summation of accounts are blindingly inaccurate.
3. The officials are just lazy to do fast rapid typing and counting.
4. They are already secretly bankrupt.
5. They are just stupid ignorant people who only look to their needs and not their clientele.

Libel all you want but this is what the people think about you. You are Garcia's evil army. You make old women take flights of stairs just to deny their money.

You are mean. Much mean than me.

When dragging a troll

I can't imagine Harry do one but its really what I am feeling right now. Dragging incompetent trolls. My co-majors. Here we are in a cafe working for a project in Asian Studies and they look that they have no idea what they are doing. Some know, others-dead air.

I just hope that we could finish it in time for the deadline. I am grateful that I could easily adapt to the communal cafe life, it's still unbearable for me to remember my loss.

I just hope that some of my classmates knock their heads and realize that it is their futre they are working on. As for me I always and will always say this, I hate incompetent trolls who like to play Drag me to Hell./KP

Saying Goodbye, Okay, and Sorry

It is true to the phrase that saying goodbye is very hard. I never had the chance to say so. The moment was stolen from me. I let them steal it. I opened my arms and welcomed them with a very big smile on my face. I was stupid and very very dumb.

(For those who did not know, my laptop was stolen inside the school premises, 1 October 2009 at around 7:40 to 8 in the evening.)

Yes it is my fault and I could not blame anybody else. It was a careless decision to leave such valuable thing unattened. but as trusting and as haggard as I am that time, I did not let my mind work. I let it overrun and miss look everything that should be taken care of. In short, I was a total dudderhead.

As I sit here in an internet shop (can you imagine that i am here???) I still could feel and see my beloved laptop infront of me with Aizyl's Tattoo on its left side blinking with the beautiful color of blue. I need a handkerchief right now.

Call it cheesy or tag me as a sentimental dopehead, but I really regret that I did not use my worldly knowledge that night. I feel so stupid even if I just recall that moment. Could someone hack me with a pick axe?

I am still not "over" with the loss. I halluciante. Yes I do. For three straight days, my mind wonders off where the laptop has gone into. I think I am going nuts. But it's just a comment, you can attest to that fact if it's true or not. It's like I am drugged (not like I had ever been one). Or maybe my imagination has just gone too far.

The big scary moment was when I had to tell my parents. Its been what, ten months (give or take a day or two) since tatay bought it for me. And I was scared of my witts trying to imagine what my father would do to me if he would get the news. I was not afraid that I had lost the laptop. I was afraid that I would disappoint him. But it's too late, I already went kaploey.

Disappointment is my worst enemy and my father makes it in human form. It's very painful to see your father cry ladies and gentlemen, very painful indeed for he is holding himself calm of what he intends to do. He holds himself of by crying to stop his impulse of punching me in the face and practicing my gag reflex. It is very painful to see that's why I cried. I couldn't even utter the words "Sorry" for I know that would only break his heart more. I was the living disappointment.

So this is me, writing something that is totally and utterly stupid for the things that I had stupidly done.

I say thank you.

To Nanay, Tatay (especially Tatay) and Ging.
To my classmates who are in logic primary suspects but also victims of false criminal interpretation who said sorry even though they made no mistake.
To my SILAK buddies who supported and understood the situation and analyzed it for me when my brain was not working properly.
To my co-borders and Eleros (uy, promotion) who comforted my blank expression when I got home Thursday evening.

Sa lahat. Salamat.

By the way, for the first time, nag kuha ako ng quote sa FB, at timing, eto sabi niya.

Losing everything is at the same time the scariest, as well as the most libe...rating experience you can have. When you have something, - anything, you've got to protect it from disappearing. And so worry becomes a resident in your heart. When you've got nothing, your heart overflows with gratitude for every offering you receive.

Thank you. Bumalik trust ko sa you JC.

Where were you when Ondoy came?

Just this recent week, Ondoy landed in the Philippines. Along came floods in the metropolitan areas of Manila that swept away everything with it; including the kitchen sink. And I was surprised just this moment since I saw a picture of Hon. Mikey Arroyo circulating in a community site.

Hon. Arroyo is crouching on the floor. Apparently inside a liquor store. What bothered me greatly is the description of the picture. He was inside a liquor bar (apparently check out the merchandise) during the peak of Ondoy's wrath at the Metro.

Then came another issue after the picture circulated the web; the regulation of the community site where the picture was circulated. Honestly, I don't give a sh*t to what Mikey does in his private life. Nor to what brand of champagne he drinks.

So what if he is looking at the merchandise? Maybe he needs to have some sort of posh drink while he looks at the people frantically screaming around him.

So what if he's in a liquor store? Maybe he needs something to warm himself up for the cold weather when some families in Rizal are freezing cold in their rooftops.

So what if he wasn't helping? He has one thing that we don;t have ladies and gentlemen and that is SEAT OF POWER and the right to do whatever he pleases.

Plus he has lots and lots of cash.

So why are people disturbed about this? Because Mickey himself is also disturbed. He is disturbed that his private life is now being transparent. Remeber, politics in the Philippines is not about transparency, it is how to get things done. The picture depicts his actions in a very comprehensibly wrong time. If he was photographed during December people won't give a care. But this is Ondoy we are talking about. Ondoy.

When 6 months of rainfall fell in a day.

When state of emergency was in over 20 provinces.

Then I asked myself, where are those budding politicians? Are they also inside a wine house that time? Are they relaxing in a spa? Or sleeping soundly in their posh, first-class villages free of mud and waist-high water?

We cannot blame the politicians about the weather, but sadly they are the ones who should help the people in the immediate time possible. if I were Mickey, I'd give free Monet that time to save myself from scandals. And I would not sue or find a way to cover up (by limiting or guarding community sites, remember, they have rights too)what was seen in the photograph. I'd stand up, smile at the camera and say "Dadalhin ko to sa Pampanga mamaya para mainitan ang mga tao dun."/KP

*thank you Rep. Palatino sa ginawa mo sa kanya.

Guilt

To All Those Concerned on the issue in the university: you can show ur opposition through diff. ways i.e. Ribbon wearing, banner hanging, wearing blackshirts, etc.. you may also join the students' assembly on sept.21,9.30 am in front of the school.. Pls. pass. Maging makabuluhan sa ating paaralan.


That was the message that I received yesterday morning.

And I am currently pondering upon wether I would join on monday or not.

It's my intuition vs. my tuition.

Im still on the vs.. No sides taken, I will remain neutral muna.