Little things

This has got to be the worst post ever. I don't have even the utmost care who would read this but I feel so bad right now. Bad that I can't get an interview, bad that I am missing my deadline, bad that I can't get my allowance, bad that I am still waiting for my underwear to dry. Bad.

Everything this week seemed like it was going to fall over me or trample me or squish me (which I aways picture ending in a gruesome manner). And now that Tatay is angry at me, I really don't know what to do.

My phone was dead about eight am and I was still asleep, I charged it yesterday but my phone is always like this, dead and gone. Tatay was supposed to call me but with my phone dead, he can't reach me. When I went to sleep it was reflecting it's LCD with full batteries. How am I supposed to know it'll be dead in a few hours? Too bad there's no defibrilator for batteries that I just can chuck out of my pocket.

Okay, I fear adulthood for that matter. I fear that i'll pick on some petty thing to release my anger. I fear that i'll call someone stupid intentionally. I fear that i'll make someone feel that he made the biggest mistake any human being can do without even trying.

The new part of my life

Due to the unfortunate event that my dear flash drive is dead. I now have a new member of my life. Introducing Ewe (Yoo).

An Invitation

Just this day, someone asked me to dance again. That was pretty odd. I haven't "officially" danced in public (if you call my silly moves in the office dancing and the staff, an audience) since last two years ago.

I wasn't astonished about them asking me though. I was simply pondering on the length of time I stopped dancing. Dancing for me is a new venture in college. I never dared to dance in my entire high school life. And it seems to me that this incident sometimes, well, always happens to me.

I fall out of time to do what I want most because of something else.

I said no though, I knew I wasn't prepared. Plus I know for a fact that some of those people inside the room would belittle my capabilities. Maybe next time, I'll be lucky.

A point to remember as a dancer though: Mimicry is good but do not over-mimic. Too much of a good thing is bad.

So stop thinking about putting ABDC moves. Trolls.

The lazy blog awards

This is the official page of the lazy blog awards- an award giving body recognizing the people who make blog then leave it empty for almost a century.

If that page existed, I would have been on its hall of fame.

So what has been occupying my hands and eyes lately?

1. Creative Pursuits. I was privileged to undergo training on videography and video editing under the world-renowned Mayad Studios. It was a two-day seminar filled with new experiences (and new friends!) and a blender-full of ideas and concepts. Quoting Adelle: "Brain-freeze!"

2. Publication works. Preparations for the incoming Academic Year were done (in a matter of milliseconds). I was christened to be this years' Editor in Chief and I am currently peeing in my pants by the thought of it.

3. Family. Who isn't busy with their own meager lives? I spent some quality time with my family this summer and I am very happy to say that I am nearing my goal of making friends with my parents.

In, generalization and borrowing the line in the movie "The Shining": Here's Johnny! (I'm back!)

Expect more updates (less lazy blog awards). This is SURE.

frolicsome people

Frolicsome people

They go to an island where summer never ends
Where everything is in dollars and no one wears trash bags.

From what I heard from my sober professor
They never know that what they are going to is a booby trap.

That what they are standing on is a sinking island
A semi-sinking mushroom island that will die, eventually.

That for every hotel built, comes off the support that holds the island.
That for every pack of condom they throw ends up to stink.

So they still go in hordes, in packs and in crowds
Never knowing that they are standing on a ticking bomb./KP

back on the game

Summer can really bug a working person. It elicits the essence and feeling of relaxation. It makes you lazy.

That is why this blog is semi-empty, semi-full.

All of that is going to change. I am back in the game. Ting!/KP

Losing, Stretching

I think I have lost my thirst. I hope this is just a bad day (or week/s) or a sleeping hiatus of my muse.

The loss of the functionality and my files in Aristotle (my flash disk) is drowining me in stupid sadness. I kept thinking, what in the world happened? I just plugged it in my sister's notebook and then poof, it flashed the message 'cannot be read'.

Trying to make it working a couple of times in seven different pc units did not work either. I was insisting a non existing thing to exist again. We try that with eveything. We make a size eight fit our boat of a feet which measures to size ten. We stretch our three day allowance to fit in a week. We try to make things exist when they shouldn't.

I know it's wrong to do things that way but we succumb to what is normal. We try hopelessly, that ladies and gentlemen is normal. Losing interest in something is what I am afraid of. There are several factors why I lose things. 1) there are too many people doing it also 2) I have no time to devote on it 3) it has become repetitive and annoying.

A sample of this is my interest on the band FM Static. It was introduced to me by a friend when we were in secondary school. We were third year students. When I entered college, they went from Myspace background music to radio casts. People were oogling over them. People ask me, have you heard of them? They are sooo cool! And I was like yes, we listened to them two years ago. They insist the band is new, that I was bluffing. They stretch the truth, I lose interest in the truth.

Society revolves on this fact. Some stretch ideas, others lose ideas.

Losing files is another thing. Sometimes, if the back up fails, your dead. In my case, the one that failed was the back up. Much worse. Aristotle is dead and I need to accept that fact. I need not to stretch it./KP

Binalaybay nga wala puway

Toot.
Toot.
Toot.
Toot toot toot.

Low batt na naman ako
kay nag text ikaw
it labay-labay.

Gin sapak ko man ini
kay ang akon nabatayagan,
mas madalom pa sa kahidlawan.

Bulawan ka.
Low batt na ako./KP

will

It wouldn't be fair to write a last will and testament today. I haven't got any assets to give nor any property to divide among my constituents. It's really hard to give something away when you know you haven't got anything to give. It's counting chookies before you catch the chickens.

And sadly, I always ponder upon my chookies. I ponder what would happen if (just if, not planning on anything) THE thing happens.

Few of my possessions would never be credible enought to be facilitated by a barista. There's no need for it. Give them all away, that's an idea.

I would also rather be cremated than to be inside a box; metal or wood whatever, I don't need another box trapping me in the afterlife. I there is an afterlife.

But my family would never agree on that. Then again, who knows?

**

Somehow if a will would be too difficult for me to give at least memories are still available.

Video tape please./KP

Angst daw

I am furious.
i am cheap.
I am angst.


Basically, these are the things that summarizes my writing. Jevska asked me what does the word 'wrought' mean. It took me a few wildcard guesses before I knew what it meant. And I've encountered that word in every book that described a scene with a gate.

"A wrought iron gate"

That is why I came to ponder upon my writing capabilities. I was really having difficulties with our article and I really don't know why. I think i need to spend more time on the skills lab. Or inside a petri dish with the big names in this "industry" (if you can call me part of it).

People sometimnes associate me as a good writer. I scoff sometimes because in fact I am just a probinsyano in this new world. I have lots to learn and I am eager to do so.

That is why this summer, i'll grab the chance to do it.

Maybe this time, i'll be lucky.

binalaybay nga labay-labay

Sikreto

Kun gin hambal mo lang
kun ngaman nauna ang lago kaysa
sa manok kung aga indi
nako mag reklamo
ngaman paubrahon mo kami it lesson plan
nga wala gid nimo gin tudlo.

Putos
Putsi ako it pancit
halin sa balay ninyo sa Capiz.
Siguraduha ina nga manamit
kay ipares ko sya sa
pinirito nga pispis.

de-boned.

I had rescued the moment by using my camera and in that way had found a way to stop time and hold it. No one could take that image away from me because I owned it." -Susie Salmon

Thanks for A. Jamolin for the copy.

Fried Chicken

Toughness, that’s what as a crown

you Plurk the world with.

Your toughness

that everything for you is now hard core.

Hard

as the jawbreakers’ core.

I could pop my head

open

with your toughness .

Kronk couldn’t beat you up.

Fleshy sinew.

I never thought that I would see heaven.

Everything on the outside would seem

like rubber. Rubber on my teeth.

Rubber on my tongue.

I feel vulcanized. Demonized.

Ne Yo was blaring as I tore up space.

Mama, Papa and their baby

see me fit as I do it.

But they will soon leave along

with you

and you r

white pearly car of a plate.

Swift annoyingly opens her mouth more than the annoying orange.

I finally see your wholeness.

You are an empty soul

that once made old Mac Donald smile.

You had a husband,

five, six, seven children

who only knew how to bow and chirp up ideas.

You under a chandelier is a morphling.

You are constant yet you break

into the senses

like you always do.

You are breaking and entering.

Infiltrating.

The world is not an apple

That you bite because she said so.

You are never you.

The world is you.

Your skin, bone and flesh.

But you changed.

Doing nothing

Believe it or not, I do poetry when I am bored.


Pug paws', moose on...


It started as drip drafts
Emptying the fool of the heavens
We

were drying up existence of man as we
No it.

Topping the twisted turbine tunnel of the tiny trickle
Fine, turn it left
I was there

to see the reader who read Ruffa Mae upside down

A pulse were not picked up from here
It was not in order. It was firm

Friendly foils too

It was just.right
torrid was the way man met the tears of the gods

It was not wedlock.
We presume.

Perpetual mesh
couldn't possibly smother the two into one.

Siphons, vials, tubes, tongue depressors

You just won't do either

Time is essential to everything.

I tore happiness
I wasted a tear for you. It
wasn't enough

You made a movie about it.

Melting pot of everything, that's what you are
eternal bless while scratching my
back forehead

I flushed when you looked back at me
It was good, you said.

The river was never a river,
it was Devils' Kettle-where no one knows
where it goes


rhyme time

But we had faith in each other.
Someday we'll end up

in a burger shop together.

But everything was in harmony
and we don't care at all. Noe.Ninny


Yeah, you said.
Ooh, I said.

I left the room with butterflies and a happy conviction.
No sud disposition.


12:34 am
the 17th of February

Of being an activist

No, I could not define myself as one. I think I never could. I could never see myself behind a picket line. I'm too scared to do that. Chicken.

**

Saw the movie "Dukot" yesterday and I got the skivvies? Heeby-jeebies.

**

I'm proud that I am an active student. Being active in school always kills the monotony of my life. It, however, makes my mom's blood pressure go beyond the limit.

Maybe I'll see myself behind a picket line someday. Maybe it's because food won't be free no more./KP

Listing

I am still not over my book list yet. I've skipped two and ignored one. I was thinking that I'll never finish my list. I think I'll change that. I'll finish it.

***
And about finishing, I just finished the-postponed-always-really-again exam. That's another one off my what to do list.

***

Just watched Time Traveler's Wife. I fell asleep. It was too long. 500 Days of Summer is better. Much better. I love Summer.

***
Current revision of "the list":

1. watch any movie in the cinema
2. sleep some more
3. sleep some more

February and still no midterm exams

It's no bummer yet it's true. It's February and still no middle term examinations on a major subject. Conflict of schedule, of time, of people, lahat.

Situations are not difficult. The people in it are. If as a group your co-members only grumble and never speak out, nothing will be resolved. If your co-members are silent, they're preparing for a hefty back bitiing session with their friends. Digesting people only chew, seldom talk like there is no tomorrow.

That's why I hate to be in a group that never speaks up-they'll end up talking about the loudmouth behind it's back. And usually I am the loudmouth.

It's not that I am angry with people talking behind other peoples' back (hey, I do that though unusually low on the pinoy level), it's just that they are not talking when you want them to talk and they talk when you turn your back on them.

They didn't even present a premise or a solution to our problem.
They didn't even talk or say any suggestion.
They didn't even say why they won't take the exams.
They looked sulky; a look I always hate.

What in the world do they need?

An electrical charge?
A slap on the face?
A good harsh taking-to?

Nevermind. They are hopeless.

As for our professor, I really hope he makes this an easy one.

dead feb

I was watching the coveted reality show last night at my boarding house when they announced that their grand closing finale night would be on the thirteenth. Then the following argument:

Good Me: it's the night before the 14th?
Bad Me: Isn't it obvious? that's why they have the hearty icon. droll.
G: It's still not valentines.
B: It'll be. They'll stop at around midnight.

***

The folio is done. No, the other one. The one not for february.

***

I almost fell out of my chair when Swift was named best album of the year at the Grammy's. Even though her music sucks, people keep buying it and I don't know why. Note: Research.

What If

I've had too many 'what if?' moments in my life. These make me wonder if I had made enough and if I had challenged my self to live to the fullest. I guess not.

These things don't make me regret that I did not make the choice, these things strengthen me and make me think that there is something better in store for me.

Doldrum drops

I've been really feeling the chilly weather. I drank coffee this morning and I am so woozy that I used the backspace button more frequently while typing this entry.

January is supposed to be cold. But not freaking wet. Last night, I surfed for greek and bulgarian main dishes because they're experimenting at home. But today I got all hyped up. We're practicing for a demonstration on Monday.

I got hyped up because:

1. some are just pain in the arse.
2. some are late.
3. I got no money.
4. did I say some are pain in the arse?

It's very hard to work on the group that does not know the commitment in a performance. Really, some people do not appreciate the joy of performing. Some will look upon you as weird loving what you're doing but who cares?

I love my craft, I love working my body. It's stress relieving to dance. It takes off my backpack for me.

So if you don't like what you are doing, don't blame it on the one who made the steps. For when they made it, it was of rhythm of the body; not politics.

In a group, never be taken aback with doing suggestions. Don't stop yourself if it's something for the groups' betterment. If you don't like the suggestion, present an alternative. Don't just say I don't like it. Be conscientious. I think you don't even know what that means.

Of Farming

In this modern times, even six year-old children can farm. They can collect eggs from the chickens, they can harvest crops and they can plant new crops in just a simple click of a device called a mouse. Of course I am talking about the sensational applications that has gripped the online community of Facebook™ (which was sparsely populated a few years back).

Farming has always been part of the Filipino culture. Our ancestors were very eager and happy farmers who lived off their lives farming their own land. They were a happy bunch of mountain people. Going a few years in the future (give or take twenty generations or two) we see the hope of the youth in re-establishing and awakening the agricultural prowess that has once characterized our nation.

Imagine if those children and teenagers who are point and clicking their mouses real farmers. Come to think of it, we'll have 600,000 farmers now all working (some even on night shifts). With the government limiting agricultural budget and the country's depressing state of importation, why wouldn't we give our attention to the problem?

The proposed budget of the government for this year has increased about one eight in percentage and the allocation for agriculture is 27 billion. Only half of the budget for defense. Last year, the budget for agriculture was slashed of its rightful 1.1 billion. Where did it go I don't know.

For now the country's hope for a sustaining economy anchored on agriculture and rice sufficiency is bleak. Not unless the people at my left, right and back in this cafe start thinking of farms, farmers and planting. The real ones. /KP

Side reeling

I haven't watched any recent movies and I think all the entries at the MMFF are for dunderheads. So we watched copies of those 'epics' in dvd. Pirated or Original.

1. Avatar


No, it's not Aang. It's those big blue guys on a big planet. Pandora (that's the name of the blue planet), is being infested by humans who seek better living conditions (and new resources) because the earth is exhausted. It truly is epic in terms of effects but the sad plight and over exhausted plot of the humans-are-evil-and-they-are-cold-hearted are so old. However, no one could detest the stunning effect. Some might say it's cartoon-ish but i completely disagree. It's the next epic to Star Wars.

2. Twilight Saga: New Moon


It's still trash because of Pattinson. Yes I think Pattinson is the entire reason why readers are frustrated of the movie. Though everyone in the film has matured in their character, I still can't help but notice why Bella is acting like a poor kid who lost her candy on the way to school. Too much heavy breathing. I was also frustrated of the inclusion of Dakota Fanning in the movie. Why waste a good actress on saying four lines in a movie?

Though one could amaze at the setting in Italy, one question bugs my mind. Did Alice and Bella drive over an ocean and three countries?


3. Jennifer's Body




My tit. No that wasn't my line.It was the last punch line of Megan Fox in the entire freaking movie. What would you expect from the writer of Juno? True the writer has done an impeccable job in making teen horror truly funny. Just ignore the guts ripping and you would surely enjoy this movie. Seyfried is a psycho!

Plus, Megan is still hot, even though she's busy drinking blood from your abdomen.



4. 2012

Okay, the plot is totally stupid. The punchlines are a bomb to hear for they will surely make you laugh amidst the falling buildings and screaming almost-but-sure-dead people. One has to note the symbolism in the movie though. No, were not extremists and conspiracy theorists but I can't help it. Why did the biggest ship of the US army destroy the White House?/KP

Why (I Hate) Teleseryes?

I have endured sixteen years of watching soap operas, okay, teleseryes. Nanay has always been a fanatic, my older sister too,my dad got infected also but not me. It may sound as if I am referringto the watching of soap opera as a viral contagion but it is indeed one. A nasty bout of flu.

The world of Philippines' soap opera is a tragic one. We have seen the best and the worst in them. The best actresses inmovies have gone astray in these kilowatt-killing shows. And yes these shows add up to the ratings but what are we getting here?

Some (probably most) Filipinos are so emotion-savy that they cling to these shows. I am sure there are bitter fights because of the remote control at home and there are lots of money reeled in by the TV networks.

So I have a proposition. What if there are not 'teleseryes' in the Philippines?

I mean is the style of cinematography (is that what it's called) applied to it. What if it's different?

What if there were now rich and poor? Say like 90210. What if it's all about the same profession? Say Srcubs. Or Psych. Or CSI.

That's why nanay has a hard time convincing me to watch the one teleserye about a saintly child. First of all, I think it's too much sugar coating. Second, I think the people at that town are a bunch of idiots and people falloff their seats beacuse the townsfolk are looking and acting like idiots.

Please, can the world get more ironic? I mean if I continue watching that, I would look like a total emotional dunderhead just like those people in that town. I hate soppy things. And soppy soap operas poorly done are one of them.

Better leave me with soppy movies, that I can contemplate on. It's all about channeling, I hope the 'mad skillz' of young directors won't be wasted on the same-plot-for-fifty-years teleseryes. /KP

Disaster in the making

I was so depressed this past months that I haven't made any artwork. The last one that I made, I let it rot in my cabinet from mite bites. Now, Nang Adel has posed a very intriguing deal. After a month, we'd switch artworks. Same size, different work.

It was okay for me at first to accept the fun exchange however, after a day of thinking I have realized that I am out of ideas for it. I rummaged something in the old magazines for an inspiration and racked my brains with all my might. But to no avail, I still don't have any.

I am hoping for that magical serendipity moment, an A-ha! moment, any spark just to resolve this. I am waiting. Waiting..

Life danger

Yes, for the first time in my freaking entire life, I may be wiped out in this planet after twenty four hours. Give or take a week. I don't know. I just feel the creeps right now. No, I didn't sell drugs as a part-time job and no, I did not write anything about someone so malicious. I just wonder what's wrong with this guy who just sent me this message:

one word is enuf 4 a wise man. d nyo pagtraidora ky d nyo p q kilala. into a nyo ang iba indi lng ako. ok?

He already sent me an SMS about a few months back and I still couldn't help but laugh. He knows me, and not only as acquaintances but as somewhat work buddies. Still he makes threats to me?

Hey man, I never had laid my eyes on your woman. For crying out loud, and may I repeat it again that we're just friends? Okay? And besides, I'm sane enough not to meddle in your relationship. Marunong ho ako ng delicadeza.

Kung sa Big Brother pa- "Over."

absolute solution to the resolution

I never do the resolution thing. It bothers me. You start a year with a promise you are dying to keep and by the end of the first month (give or take February), you are at it again. Doing your old rituals even though you've 'crossed-your heart' and 'promised' that you won't. The irony of life.

That's it has never crossed in my mind to make a resolution this year. I always (take those kindergarten times out) have never been into it.

First, I never believe in big promises. You know when you're a kid and your dad promises you that you'll have candy when you'd be good in class? I always fell for that stint and countless of times I end up being the little saint with no Snickers on his hand. I learned my lesson and this I think applies to the recent context.

Second, I know that I can't keep up with promises. I'm a big liar and keeping up with sappy holistic things in this bitter life is hard for me. So better shut up and don't hurt anyone else. Never promise when you know you can't keep it. You'll be like those TraPos who babble everything under the sun in their speeches.

So what is my solution?

Be myself this year. Simple and definitely easy to do.

Prophetic.

Opportunities never fail to pass by and I think I was given enough opportunities to read and finish this book. But finally, for the tenth time of trying to finish this book in six months (though it's just a small read), I have done it last night. I finished his beloved masterpiece.

It's like climbing that stupid wall you are forced to get across on at military trainings. The book is supposed to teach you to seek within yourself and it indeed has-for me. I had never attempted to read anything philosophical for it makes me barf (sometimes). But this time, due to the pressures insisted by myself, I did so. I found it difficult at first to decipher meanings but heck, if you decipher everything? What's left of the mystery of life?

"No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge." (Chapter 18)

Now, I am venturing still on the 'prophet' theme: Nest to be finished: