What is the feeling of being a dama de noche or the flower of the night? One fully blooms to splendor at dusk and wilt all its glory along with the rising sun everyday. You are born into this world and die at the same in just a few hours time.
I die every eight in the evening. Everyday.
This is the time when I lost my laptop and since its loss, I am having these stupid flashback moments everyday. Every night. The moment I see my parents, the moment I have a blank state of mind, I remember how stupid I was that night.
It haunts me.
I want to move on but these simple things act as time machines that transports me back in time. I can’t cry, there are no tears yet I feel devastated. Ashamed. I can’t help but whimper.
I know it’s unmanly and unethical to live in the past for a man must live in his future but sometimes the past just sticks to you like elmer’s glue. Unnerving. I want to forget. Really forget everything that happened. But something pulls me back.
Help me.
Saturday, October 31
Thursday, October 29
A very unusual day
Yes the weather was normal. It was always sunny in our town. My mother and sister and the rest of the household also acts normal. But that day was a different day for that day, I registered myself as an official voter.
The moment I stepped of the grubby tricycle, I knew this was going to be hell. Armed with my trusty ballpoint pen, a photocopy of my birth certificate and a valid identification card, I decided to take the plunge. Corny.
The line was so long. First, I need to verify who I am. I gave the copy of my birth certificate to an officer in charge of it. Then I had to wait my name to be called to get a copy of the form. It took me about twenty minutes to get hold of the No carbon form and another twenty to let an officer in charge to fill it up for me. First time voter daw ako and I don't know how to do it properly. Ansakit naman magsalita ng bakla.
Yes, the OIC was a cross dressing guy.
So he, she, whatever, was the one filling up the first page of the form. He was asking questions to me, the things that you are most likely to see on my birth certificate. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na uy, tingnan mo na lang sa birth certificate pwede. I look like a goof here.
So after he accomplished my form with writing similar to those interpreted by pharmacists, I was the one to fill up the rest. Painstaking fill up the rest of it. And after complying, I submitted it to him. He said I should return after the noon break for it's already twelve noon. And just in time as I went back that afternoon, I was called to get in the office for the biometrics.
Biometrics my butt, it was more of a gag show when i was inside. First you get to pass the form to the one encoding the data. You get criticized for what name you have and how slow you respond to questions posed. To get the fingerprint one has to scan it with a laser scanner. Sabi ko anung unang finger tinuro nya lang yung monitor. Both my thumb and index were scanned two times. Feel ko pag nakalabas yung laser, sunog na yung daliri ko at mukha.
Now to the most fun part. Picture taking.
Hell it was no fun. I have very sensitive eyes and the only reason I don't wear a pair of glasses is because my parents can't afford one. I was told to look at a camera two feet away from me. I presumed this was a seroius moment so I made my serious look. Then poof. Meron pa lang flash ang lokong camera. Nag blink ako tuloy kasi sobrang lapit.
Take two. Poof. Parang lasenggo mukha ko. I have uneven eyes daw. A, medyo alam ko na yan at matagal na.
Take three. Pareho parin. Parang walang difference daw? Ano ba yung problema sa ata ko ask ni ate.
Take four, ganun parin. I look drunk. Sabi nya, at parang napipikon na, Ayusin mo nga. As if i don't want to have a single sane pic.
Take five. Kumipo yung dalawa kung mata. She asks if this is my idea of a joke, sabi ko hindi. May flash kasi, sana kinuha yung flash dahil malapit masyado for the use of a flash. Tumawa lang sya. And the other guy inside the office also did.
Take six. The photo still looks like those after party photos. Sabi nya tama na daw yun. Okay. To end my humiliation.
The woman detached the slip for me and did not say anything. I asked if this was the last step and she just nooded. Sheesh.
In general, registering yourself is easy yet the pople involved in the process are not. Two days to go so strat running folks. Start running to the nearest COMELEC office and be involved.
The moment I stepped of the grubby tricycle, I knew this was going to be hell. Armed with my trusty ballpoint pen, a photocopy of my birth certificate and a valid identification card, I decided to take the plunge. Corny.
The line was so long. First, I need to verify who I am. I gave the copy of my birth certificate to an officer in charge of it. Then I had to wait my name to be called to get a copy of the form. It took me about twenty minutes to get hold of the No carbon form and another twenty to let an officer in charge to fill it up for me. First time voter daw ako and I don't know how to do it properly. Ansakit naman magsalita ng bakla.
Yes, the OIC was a cross dressing guy.
So he, she, whatever, was the one filling up the first page of the form. He was asking questions to me, the things that you are most likely to see on my birth certificate. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na uy, tingnan mo na lang sa birth certificate pwede. I look like a goof here.
So after he accomplished my form with writing similar to those interpreted by pharmacists, I was the one to fill up the rest. Painstaking fill up the rest of it. And after complying, I submitted it to him. He said I should return after the noon break for it's already twelve noon. And just in time as I went back that afternoon, I was called to get in the office for the biometrics.
Biometrics my butt, it was more of a gag show when i was inside. First you get to pass the form to the one encoding the data. You get criticized for what name you have and how slow you respond to questions posed. To get the fingerprint one has to scan it with a laser scanner. Sabi ko anung unang finger tinuro nya lang yung monitor. Both my thumb and index were scanned two times. Feel ko pag nakalabas yung laser, sunog na yung daliri ko at mukha.
Now to the most fun part. Picture taking.
Hell it was no fun. I have very sensitive eyes and the only reason I don't wear a pair of glasses is because my parents can't afford one. I was told to look at a camera two feet away from me. I presumed this was a seroius moment so I made my serious look. Then poof. Meron pa lang flash ang lokong camera. Nag blink ako tuloy kasi sobrang lapit.
Take two. Poof. Parang lasenggo mukha ko. I have uneven eyes daw. A, medyo alam ko na yan at matagal na.
Take three. Pareho parin. Parang walang difference daw? Ano ba yung problema sa ata ko ask ni ate.
Take four, ganun parin. I look drunk. Sabi nya, at parang napipikon na, Ayusin mo nga. As if i don't want to have a single sane pic.
Take five. Kumipo yung dalawa kung mata. She asks if this is my idea of a joke, sabi ko hindi. May flash kasi, sana kinuha yung flash dahil malapit masyado for the use of a flash. Tumawa lang sya. And the other guy inside the office also did.
Take six. The photo still looks like those after party photos. Sabi nya tama na daw yun. Okay. To end my humiliation.
The woman detached the slip for me and did not say anything. I asked if this was the last step and she just nooded. Sheesh.
In general, registering yourself is easy yet the pople involved in the process are not. Two days to go so strat running folks. Start running to the nearest COMELEC office and be involved.
Friday, October 16
Why I never bothered studying other subjects
Don't pressure youself. That was my quotation of the week.
That's why I did not work my heart out in studying for three of my exams. I just scanned the books a few hours before the test. No memorizing. Just scanning.
Wwhy did I do something that sounds nuts and stupid?
Well first it is because the subjects are dull and uninteresting. Nothing is a greater killer than boredom.
Second, the teahcers don't give a sh*t about you. They just kept yapping and yapping without sense. I had one subject which I had learned facts and information only through my classmates. She lets us all report. And she say's just a few sentences. One. Two but not more than twenty the whole class hour. We do not count her mandates on my classmate to buy her snacks.
Third, I alloted the time to study for my major exams. If I want to go nuts, at least I chose the one that's easy to crack.
Fourth, it's beacuse I know that the exam would not be difficult.
I have psychic abilities you know./KP
That's why I did not work my heart out in studying for three of my exams. I just scanned the books a few hours before the test. No memorizing. Just scanning.
Wwhy did I do something that sounds nuts and stupid?
Well first it is because the subjects are dull and uninteresting. Nothing is a greater killer than boredom.
Second, the teahcers don't give a sh*t about you. They just kept yapping and yapping without sense. I had one subject which I had learned facts and information only through my classmates. She lets us all report. And she say's just a few sentences. One. Two but not more than twenty the whole class hour. We do not count her mandates on my classmate to buy her snacks.
Third, I alloted the time to study for my major exams. If I want to go nuts, at least I chose the one that's easy to crack.
Fourth, it's beacuse I know that the exam would not be difficult.
I have psychic abilities you know./KP
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