Leon Leon Sinta

I was gone a few weekends to join our community outreach at Sitio Miac-ac (me-yakh-ahk), Brgy. Poblacion, Leon, Iloilo. We spread out 48 hours of community service for six days, each interluded by a week. The first batch was on February 5-7, then the second on February 19-21. And I am here to tell you all about the things I learned, I loathe, I like, I love and I leave out during our very enjoyable discovery of Leon. The first thing that I would say is my "Thank you very many dialogue". Bear with the swimming flattering words (but truths!).

Ingatan mo Ako
It comes to a fact that when handling money matters on any given trip/excursion/outing/outreach/out-of-town/spring break/adventour, you need to have a good treasurer (ingat yaman kasi Filipino major siya); this time it's Romeilyn. And that is why I really love Romeilyn during the trip. She has all the money (Kidding folks)! No, seriously, she is great at the money dealings (which unluckily I don't have) and keeping the cash. Ano na lang ang gagawin ko pag wala ka Roms?

Instant pre-school teachers (na mukhang pre school rin!)
I knew they were the perfect tandem. Child friendly mukha nila e. It has always been a plus factor that you look young and this trip just proves it. Take two freshmen students who look like 4th grade students, add twenty pre school children, ten other small children, twenty five feeling children teenagers, two special childs and what do you get? One classroom full of fun. Sina Chinkay at Nini ang buhay nang classroom. Dyan lang ako nakakita nang mga teachers overnight. Salamat at they had an edge for these kind of stuff. Plus, enjoy naman sila!

Yaya's and Yayo
A big thank you to my classmates who showed their maternal instincts evern just for a day or two. I really appreciate it. And for those who help carry the extra luggage, thank you. Thanks for the overwhelmingly long patience for the kids at Miac-ac, for the travel experience, for the walkathons. THANK YOU!

The one who adds up my gray hairs whom I will christen, Uban Growers
Thank the Boss above you are there so that I have something to do; to scold you! If you bug me with all your ranting and yapping and endless complaints, thank you so much! That really tested my strength, character and resistance for my impulse to punch someone in the face. Thank you so much!

Phew! Now that is over, let me tell you the over-all impact (like a judging factor) of this activity for me.

We start by the budget.
Never under estimate the power of an emergency fund. If not for that, wow, second day pa lang namin at hindi na kami makaka-uwi ng Iloilo City! It's a good thing that we had the budget allotment or else, kinulang talaga kami nang pera. But always chip in the collected amount in advance! Ang iba sobrang wais allthrough out the trip ang siba kumain, di naman nagbayad! Hello, di nakaramdam nang hiya, even for just one moment!

That person makes up my "Uban Growers" (yung mga pasaway). At take note, marami sila!

Next is the activities. Plan the activities ahead and collaborate with your group effectively. Yan ang hindi ko nagawa nang maayos. Hinila ko lang si Elna at Krisma the night before to do their child antics. And thank Bossing above they know how to deal with children. The activities were so-child friendly that even my classmates all felty jumpy and excited. Gusto talagang manalo kaya ganun.haha. Mas excited pa sila kesa sa child partners nila!

Third is travel time. Warning: If you happen to ask someone from Leon of how far is a certain place, never trust on their answer. When they say malapit, its malayo. And when they say malayo, they mean it. Siguro, dahil sanay na ang mga taga-roon nang walkahons, kaya nasasabi nila na malapit. Maybe they're right. Pag masanay ka, malapit na yan.

Fourth is food. Make sure that all are fed or else it will rain complaints. At diyan sumusutsot ang mga uban growers. Nakikibagay.

Fifth is safety. Why only 5th? hello, your parents signed the waiver! You know the risk! Pero still, essential ito. Besides, I don't want the trip to be a "Jeepers Creepers" localization.

Sixth, instruction-ing. Make sure clear ang instructions. Huwag kalimutan even the minute details! You will suffer the consequences if you do. Trust me on that one.

Seventh, patience-meter. You need those things in-order to know who is bored, tired, faking an illness, enjoying, disgusted, obliged, tinatamad at mga walang ideya kung ano ang ginagawa nila. I hope they invent those things. Plus a time portal and a laser bazooka para I could go back in time to see who's the who and then boom! Ultimate enjoyment. haha

Next is connection and coordination with the venue. Never ever forget this! Sitting duck ka na lang pag nalimutan mo to. Have phone numbers, full names of the people involved. That way, madali nalang ang communication. Salamat pala kay Capt. Cantara, sa mga kagawad, sa Pamilya Cabarles, dahil binulabog namin kayo at sa mga taga-Miac-ac.

Preparation. Prepare the list of things to buy for who and what. Mahirap na nasa bukid na kayo, nalimutan mo pa ang this and that.

Be an "old maid"-male version for once. That surely helped me in conducting this activity.

It was refreshing to see the people there, a break from the city life, if I were to be asked. But for the Uban Growers, bah, they thinks it all gross and this and that. Di naman mayaman aasta astang mayaman at di makahawak nang maruruming bagay. Hay nako. Uban growers are the Urban-obssessed freaks of our group.

Kawawa ang iba, they have to listen on your continuous never-ending reklamos. If you are looking for service, sana di na kayo sumama. We are serving these people you know. Outreach nga diba? How hard could that be?

Tama na sa Uban growers. Dumadami na ang gray hairs ko.

Plus pa pala, always wear a smile sa mga bata and don't be more noisy than them. Matatakot sila sa iyo. Huwag na huwag mong paiiyakin ang di mo kaano-anong bata. Baka sugurin ka nang nanay. haha. Huwag umasa na may kuryente, electric fan, NAWASA, pagkain, good sleeping area, good toilet IF you are going to this kind of trip. Ok?

My trendy Sister

When I first understood what a nurse is I thought it was a very noble profession. To assist someone in time of healing and rehabilitation, to administer medicine, to assist in operations and to be with old folks. But this perception has changed over the course of time---from good to bad, to trashy.

You may wonder why I named this entry as "My trendy sister" since all things mentioned above are not about her. But this entry believe it or not is all about my sister's plight of achiving the "All-Filipino Dream" of being the a nurse; in her person. Forgive me (for being a little bias in the process) Ging.

The All Filipino Dream of Mine

I never dreamed of being a nurse. It was never my option (guilty compensation). Well, it was but it was never the first. I had a cousin who was a sucessful nurse and don't want to be a lower comparison to her. I never liked it to be compared. I took exams, countless of exams to universities, different courses, different scores, different levels of frustrations. I did not pass the premier state university, neither my brother's sister-university (the universities I preferred) but I got accepted at a private, semi-cool (as what I could define it) university here in Iloilo.

I wanted to take up Hotel and Restaurant Management because I loved to cook. It has been in our blood that we cook great (no really, we cook great). I had been trained to cook for those who need it and I want that my future occupation be involved in the same scope. But I switched gears (for my parents) to this all-talked-about course NARSING (I spelled it that way 'coz that is what we really are, NARSES).

I've put my mind into "achiever mode" so that I can fullfill my parents' dream for me, to finish my studies with a degree. I studied dilligently and profusely. Sleeping less and reading more. Maybe beacause it's the "unproclaimed intellicence war" between me an my sibling since he frequently gets more peps in the academics whilst I get the low-down "kabit-kabit" grades.

And I looked at myself in the mirror, my once chubby fat-ridden face was now, thinning up, it tightens and I have a waistline now. This is great! If studying leads to better figures, then every chubby person that exists should study hard!

I was slowly transforming into what my classmates are!

Money hungry narcissistic quacks!

Though I admit that I am materialistic, I am not money greedy, it also runs in our blood to be narcissistic. No, this are not alibis, these are wholesome truths. I said to myself, I won't be a laughingstock in our family. I will not be the black sheep of the class. I am going to make a mark in history and live my life as a student nurse the way it should be.

And so I met friends, enemies, acquaintances, clinical instructors, patients (both well and terminally-ill), mountain people, barkadas, janitors, student assistants, boardmates, security guards, landladies, vendors, and jeepney driversalong the way of loving this ill-fated future profession of mine.

But I never realized that with this face (which I thought was beautiful all life long), I could entice someone. Really! And he is head of a fraternity at school! Kappa Beta Alpha, blah. Whatever that is. And in the end he won my heart and the rest is... well, reality! Were still together! after what? 3 years? Ang tibay diba?

I hid this from my family partly because they were expecting so much from me and partly because I want this to be a thing of my own. Two years of keeping that secret is very hard, very painful and very very very very very (too many "very's"?) heart breaking. I think I was cheating my parents. But soon it leaked out and my brother caught a sniff of it. He did not told our parent but he always blackmails me after that.

I continued my student life as what it is before "Dad" (my boyfriend, ooh, boyfriend!) but with his fun inexplicit addition. BUT this blasted clinical instructor, just ruined my (parents) dream. He gave me a grade far bellow my cut off grade and well, I got deloaded (term for not passable). Most of my friends were. It's the sad truth that my school forcefully or intentionally deloads students after they get their money's worth from them. I am one of those fortunate ones who got sliced off in the process.

I was angry and tired and sad. Mix-mix kung sa filipino pa! I never deserved to be deloaded for it was an unfair system. A pa-close-close system. I hate it. I cursed my school, myself, and that blasted stupid clinical instructor!

In the end, I had to repeat another semester, since the subject is not offered the next sem. I had to wait. PROBATION HIBERNATION PERIOD. Maybe beacuse of being depressed that I ate too much again and I swelled up back to my old self. The fat me.

But then I swallowed my pride, my procastination, my abhorrence and my utter digust to my school and started again on my never-ending journey of being a student nurse. Duty, lecture, duty, lecture. Dull but meaningful, now that I had learned to love this profession.

And after so much sweat, tears, saliva, sandals, duty shoes, and unifoms, wrecked, trashed, torned and wasted, I had managed to graduate. I walked that field with a lofty feeling; that I had made it to Everest. And I took my diploma(paper rolled with a red ribbon tied) with a smiling face. Fogetting all the pains behind.

But then it all came back when the prospected dread board exams came to a unstoopable countdown. 150 days. 130. 89. 75. 30. The reviews were brain draining, exhausting but very informative (the speakers were great). I was being paranoid of it and I though of it almost everyday. Yapping, and yapping to everyone who listens to my panicking soul.

Soon I was filing and falling (literally) in line at PRC. The line was making dizzy, it was making me more paranoid. We were going to every church I had ever visited in Iloilo, we prayed profusely (even at the review center). We were all desperate to pass.

And then the fateful day came like lightning. It's really true when they say, "Pagbugtaw mo board exam na." I Prayed and trusted my brain and the Almighty. I went through part 1 with ease, but part two got me stuck. 3, 4 were easy and again I was helpless at part 5. I trusted my now keen (as I have learened) nursing senses.

It was two days of pure terror. It caught us unaware. Were were like zobies answering, erasing, nudging, praying, killing our heads with concentration and mixed emotions. We swore that after that day, we would never speak of that "unfatetul day" again. Until the results came out.

And it did came (with fervent hope and anxiety). I was hoping that it would come earlier when everyone was at home. Everyday for the past week I would bug my brother over the phone to check on the internet to see if the results were up. It cauight me unaware on the third day of "monitoring" that Dad(boyfriend) called me that I passed. I was jumping and screaming all around the house (Nobody was there) and SMS were piling up my inbox telling that I had passed.

I was happy that I passed. Really joyously (is that a word?) happy. I could not believe I can, but still, the newspaper tells it all. That I had passed the 2008 Philippine Nurses Licensure Examination, November Batch.

Now what should I do?

*this post is my own interpretation of my sister, she is not entitled to anything in this entry. Except being the source of all these.Congratulations Ging!

Psychology doodle

O'er the sunny mountain tops of Beguet,

I see myself on the steps of the platformed hut,

looking at heaven's bliss

here at earth.

What a sight! If

only I could leave

the room. /KP

*written during my Early Childhood and Adolescence Class yesterday

ang natigil na bugso.

This may sound very funny but I did my very first "was to be published" poem in filipino which is new for me since wala pa ako ka publish it Filipino poem gid. But due to time constrains, people constrains, emotional, room, venue, press work, dedication, and all the things that are and can be constrained, hindi matutuloy ang folio namin this year.

So for your benefit (and mine since I'm going to lathala my work) I am going to post the poems (one filipino, the other English) that I made.

The essay will come soon after I finish my book review.

Poem #1

Missing

I walked
in the room of tattered wallpapers.

With a four-poster
ladened with a soggy mattress.

Longing
for someone to lay on its glory.

A spinster's chair
in the shadows, almost

smashed but still creaking
looks for the spinster who once ruled her.

Dust
covered everything. The mirror,
fogged up and unappealing

was waiting for her mistress to come again.

A chipped sink and faucet rubbing itself
with age was the witness to all.

She had the world full, but

herself.

And how she made it quits?

by wasting her head on the porcelain. /KP

*dedicated to unsatisfied pre-madonna queens out there and bastradious (is that even a word?) kids who have everything but still crave for the world.

Poem #2

Polomolok

Sulog at
walang aatras.
Yumuko kung kailangan.

Tapakan ang lahat, 'wag lang ang
kasamang sugatan.

Manalig
sa hukbo, hindi sa diyos.

Walang diyos.

Imortal ka
hangga't gumagalaw ka
at di ka nag-iisa.

Dalhin ang sarili
nang walang pag-iimbot.

Patayan ito.

Para sa pamilya mo.

Na hindi mo na nakita
mahigit tatlong taon.

Na hindi na umaasang babalik kang gumagalaw at humuhinga.
Na naghihintay na lang sa telegrama,

patay na ang suldado sa harapan./KP

*dedicated to those soldiers at war and to my nang Clen and her family at Basilan, Daddy Eddy, and Uncle Nonoy at Norala.

My book review

Up to now, I still don't know what to write on my book review. I actually wrote something but I feel it's just rubbish. Anyway, this won't be about my pathetic review on a great book, it is the book itself. Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't read this, or his previous work Tuesdays with Morrie, then you missed a great read.

The review is halfway finished and is due on tuesday. I hope I make it on time. As what the captain said in the book, No one gets left behind.

I hope I don't get left behind./KP

Commemoration

I took this one almost a year ago. I found it in my photo archive just this moment and what better way to end this v-day than with a quote and a picture I simply love.

"Thousands have lived without love, not one without water." -- W.H. Auden

What I Have Learned

This day had been my "observation" day and so let me re-iterate what I had learned this day. I call this post, What I Have Learned culling it from Sabiene Rachel's essay on post-Holocaust memories.

1. When you wear black and you're all alone in a resto full of dating couples, you are surely to get the eyes of the diners, staff and curious "couple" passers by.

2. When you stop to see those huge teddies they have on sale, people would stare at you as if trying to say, "Uy, may baklan siya." Well in fact I don't.

3. Never go out on this day if you have no date! People you know might be roaming in the same area and will eventually bump on you! Better not risk making up impromptu alibis.

4. Never ride on a taxi with a girl (that is a friend) on this day. taxi drivers would just say, "The Q sir?"

5. Never wake up too late for this day. You'll receive to many messages and send fewer.

6. Never SMS your crush on this day. You'll just fall on deaf ears.

7. Never frown this day, people will assume you are broken hearted.

8. Never eat too much, people say your binge-eating your heart out.

9. Make reservations at hotels early on. Many people tend to do some "unusual activities" this time. So if on seminars, conferences, meetings, be sure to book in advance the hotel if your are staying overnight this day.

10. Never ride on a jeepney when all passengers are couples! (including the driver) You'll just be the center of attraction for those people.

Mental Note: V-day is couples day. Go out with someone. Friend, family, classmates, whoever. Just don't be alone!/KP

the nearing day- V Day

It is coming and I cannot stop it.

Valentines Day.

It has already been my understanding that celebrating this day would be utterly disasterous. For me at least. My memories of Vday had been totally-lets just say need to forget about.

Three dumps.

Two cards lost in eternity.

One frustrated man.

I remember having made only two valentine cards. One for my nanay, and one for a girl. Mom just misplaced it after I made it. I was kinder two back then. Nevermind, nanay is ALWAYS forgetful. But the girl, she just chucked it in the bin.

That's why I've got phobia's on making cards for v-day. I-greet ta nalang kaw.

It's great celebrating V-day with your loved ones. Be sure to enjoy it./KP